Want you all to know...I appreciate the thoughts and support...you all deserve to hear that I had a really good day today!
Zoey spent the day with Kathy K. Lunch...shopping...pedicures...her gift to the new 9 year old. Zoey's hit that stage...good-bye Bratz...hello clothes. I thought cancer was scary...my kids a pre-teen...now that's freakin' scary!
5th drain completed...breathing better...bounce in my step...smile on my face...no nap...heeded Laura Wickham's advise...took Zoey to see the movie "Wall-e" tonight...laughed out loud...great night with Zo...she likes it when I feel good...ME TOO!
"Hey tomorrow...where are you going...do you have some room for me...night is falling and the dawn is calling...I'll have a new day if she'll have me." ~ Jim Croce
Friday, July 18, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Same Shit...Different "Chemo" Day!
I slept the back spasms away all day yesterday...felt better in that area this morning...not feeling great about going to chemo though. I can feel fluid in my lungs again...which probably means I'll have to have it drained tomorrow after chemo...this is seriously getting old...QUICKLY!
It has definitely taken a toll on me...physically and mentally...hit me hard today. It was the first time that I ever thought about punting this whole chemo crap...but I can't...I'm not a quiter.
I'm a fighter...I'm a mother...I'm a daughter...I'm a friend...I'm strong...I'm stubborn...and I'm Jo...what would people do without Jo around. My life's not the greatest right now...but I've got the greatest people in my life...so it's definitely worth the fight!
Just need to remind myself of these facts...anyway...today:
Chemo Day number.................I've lost count...lets say "kajillion"...sounds close enough to me.
Arrived at 10:30am...departed at 5:30pm...definitely the longest day of my chemo career. Lots of pre-tests & post-tests...failed most of them...therefore my detention begins tomorrow morning at 10:30am...the punishment will be a big fat needle through the back...between the ribs...into the lining of my right lung...where they will suck 1/2 to 1 liter of fluid out of my body....FOR THE 5th TIME!
I'll be able to breath again...which is a good thing...I guess...no, yes...it is a good thing. See...I'm working on my positivity...but it is VERY HARD...especially when FRUSTRATION OVERCOMETH!!!!!
It has definitely taken a toll on me...physically and mentally...hit me hard today. It was the first time that I ever thought about punting this whole chemo crap...but I can't...I'm not a quiter.
I'm a fighter...I'm a mother...I'm a daughter...I'm a friend...I'm strong...I'm stubborn...and I'm Jo...what would people do without Jo around. My life's not the greatest right now...but I've got the greatest people in my life...so it's definitely worth the fight!
Just need to remind myself of these facts...anyway...today:
Chemo Day number.................I've lost count...lets say "kajillion"...sounds close enough to me.
Arrived at 10:30am...departed at 5:30pm...definitely the longest day of my chemo career. Lots of pre-tests & post-tests...failed most of them...therefore my detention begins tomorrow morning at 10:30am...the punishment will be a big fat needle through the back...between the ribs...into the lining of my right lung...where they will suck 1/2 to 1 liter of fluid out of my body....FOR THE 5th TIME!
I'll be able to breath again...which is a good thing...I guess...no, yes...it is a good thing. See...I'm working on my positivity...but it is VERY HARD...especially when FRUSTRATION OVERCOMETH!!!!!
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Spazzin' Out...
Long night in hell...started with lower back spasms about 9pm. I called the oncologist on duty and it happened to be Dr. D...she recommended some pain killers, benedryl and a hot bath. The last couple days I've been given a shot to help boost my white blood cell count...it's known to cause pain in the bones...she wasn't aware of back spasm side effects...but if that's it the benedryl should help.
I only had 2 pain killers left...so I did as she instructed...I was better until about 1am. Everything gradually got worse...major back spasms all the way up to my neck and a headache that felt like vice grips clamped to my temples. By 3am...I was twitching like a fish out of water...I didn't have any more pain killers so I took Tylenol PM which has benedryl in it. No relief whatsoever. I couldn't take the pain any longer so I had to make the dreaded middle of the night call to Mom at 4am...I told her immediately not to panic...I explained what was going on and she came right over to take me to the hospital. Then I had to call Tracy and freak her out...but I needed her to come over and crawl in my bed since Zoey was home asleep.
Emergency room at St. Luke's...they assessed my issues...gave me Morphin and Valium...and relief soon entered my world. By 7:30am, I was heading back home with pain killer and valium prescriptions. We were home before Zoey was even awake.
I called Libby to let her know what was going on...she's not sure that it's an oncology issue...I have chemo tomorrow so we'll just see how the day goes. I finally got some sleep by 9:30am...until about 4:30pm. Still having slight spasms...the drugs are helping though.
Not sure what the cause is...seems to be something new going on every other day...I could really use a break!
I only had 2 pain killers left...so I did as she instructed...I was better until about 1am. Everything gradually got worse...major back spasms all the way up to my neck and a headache that felt like vice grips clamped to my temples. By 3am...I was twitching like a fish out of water...I didn't have any more pain killers so I took Tylenol PM which has benedryl in it. No relief whatsoever. I couldn't take the pain any longer so I had to make the dreaded middle of the night call to Mom at 4am...I told her immediately not to panic...I explained what was going on and she came right over to take me to the hospital. Then I had to call Tracy and freak her out...but I needed her to come over and crawl in my bed since Zoey was home asleep.
Emergency room at St. Luke's...they assessed my issues...gave me Morphin and Valium...and relief soon entered my world. By 7:30am, I was heading back home with pain killer and valium prescriptions. We were home before Zoey was even awake.
I called Libby to let her know what was going on...she's not sure that it's an oncology issue...I have chemo tomorrow so we'll just see how the day goes. I finally got some sleep by 9:30am...until about 4:30pm. Still having slight spasms...the drugs are helping though.
Not sure what the cause is...seems to be something new going on every other day...I could really use a break!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Happy 9th Birthday...Zoey Jo!
Zoey's 9th birthday was celebrated at CoCo Key Resort at the Sheraton by the Truman Sports Complex...7 Loud Girls & Lucky Me... Jessica, Morgan, Zoey, Skylar, Jordan, Carly & Cara
Big fun had by all!
Thanks to my friends at work...our room was upgraded to a Suite...a Suite with Issues...(TV issues that is)! Clark & Christa Colwell helped me out big time all day. It was my day 3 after chemo which is usually my worst day...I trucked on but I couldn't have done it without my mom and friends there. Clark even talked to the manager and got us upgraded to the Presidential Suite! The girls thought they were Rock Stars!
When going to bed...I heard one of them comment, "Hannah Montana may have slept in this very bed."
Friday, July 11, 2008
Stick it to Me...Again
My chest x-ray from yesterday showed fluid in the lining of my right lung again...about the same amount as the time before...and the time before that...etc. I was admitted to the hospital by 1pm...took a little nap...then about 2:30 they took me to the ultra sound room. There they look for the best place to enter through my back. They numb the area then stick a long needle through my back...between my ribs...(sometimes hitting a rib on the way in which doesn't feel great)...once in they try to get to the fluid. 1st time was unsuccessful...I told her I thought the time before it took the Dr. 4 or 5 sticks before he got to the fluid and that it seemed he stuck me up higher on the back. She found the spot the 2nd time and retrieved about 1/2 a liter of fluid.
I was home by 4pm but unfortunately I had to miss Zoey's Hannah Montana production that was scheduled for 3pm. She has been at a Hannah Montana camp all week at Longview Community College...today was the last day and the big production. Last night, I informed her that I would have to miss it and she looked up at me with these big blue eyes that immediately started welling up with tears. She's worked so hard this week and I've got to miss the end results...this sucks!
She has been down this road with me before...as far as fluid in my lung and knowing how out of breath I get. I asked her if she would prefer I see the Hannah Montana show or get the procedure done so I can be in good shape for her big fun birthday celebration on Sunday...she agreed on the latter and wiped away the tears.
Mimi and Aunt Jo went and took my video camera so I'll get to watch it...just sucks having to disappoint my very soon to be 9 year old.
I was home by 4pm but unfortunately I had to miss Zoey's Hannah Montana production that was scheduled for 3pm. She has been at a Hannah Montana camp all week at Longview Community College...today was the last day and the big production. Last night, I informed her that I would have to miss it and she looked up at me with these big blue eyes that immediately started welling up with tears. She's worked so hard this week and I've got to miss the end results...this sucks!
She has been down this road with me before...as far as fluid in my lung and knowing how out of breath I get. I asked her if she would prefer I see the Hannah Montana show or get the procedure done so I can be in good shape for her big fun birthday celebration on Sunday...she agreed on the latter and wiped away the tears.
Mimi and Aunt Jo went and took my video camera so I'll get to watch it...just sucks having to disappoint my very soon to be 9 year old.
My Beautiful Sister...
Special shout out to my sister..."Hey Sis!" (Since no one else ever mentions you in their blogs).
I want you to know that I think you are an amazing sister and human being...a true blessing in my life and I love you to death!
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