At the age of 18, I went through menopause. It was a freak thing... the youngest case before me at KU Med. Center was 27... proud of my record in a sick kind of way.
I remember the doctor and mom sitting there telling me the news and words seemed to leave their lips in slow motion...I just remember words and phrases... like the diagnosis was called "Savage Syndrome"..."pre-mature menopause"... "ovarian failure"..."no more menstrual cycles"..."won't be able to have kids"... "can always adopt"... and my 26 yr. old sister Shelley even chimed in there..."someday, I'll have a baby for you."
Wow... brain overload... must take a moment to process... so I thought it out... weighed the pros and cons... it wasn't the worst gig. No more monthly curse?... that was cool. Adoption?... don't have to fret child birth... I was okay with that... besides, my sister will have a baby for me someday. I'll be okay.
By my early 30's, I was a successful single independent woman. I sold computers and made good money for someone my age. I was in the process of selling my first home to purchase my second home closer to work.
I was just a few weeks shy of 34, when Shelley and the kids came in town on Christmas Eve from North Carolina. Shelley was 42, Katie Jo was 18 and Taylor was 14. She had raised two great kids despite a nasty divorce about 4 years earlier. We did the usual unwrapping of "Christmas Eve Jammies" and played a family game together. We all went to bed thinking about what Santa had in store for us in the morning.
I was sleeping on the couch, when my sister woke me up about 4 in the morning. It brought back flashes of us sleeping together every Christmas Eve and neither of us being able to sleep.
She said I can't wait any longer to give you your Christmas present. She handed me a little package with a picture wrapped in it...a sonogram of a dot..."I'm pregnant and I want to have the baby for you."
I giggled... from shock of course... it wasn't the reaction she was expecting but I've never been a big crier anyway... that would be her role. Wow... was about all I could say. What a gift... what a trip... was I dreaming?
We woke Mom up and told her the news... she thought she was dreaming too. Although... it was all true. We later told Katie and Taylor. Katie replied, "So we'll have a Custer or a Brosin?" Taylor didn't quite get it but Katie cleared it up pretty quick..."You know, like Phoebe on "Friends". You could see it click and it was a good with everyone.
She left to go home to care for my baby over the next several months. She included me in on every discussion down to what type of vitamins I wanted her to take. It was also up to me if we wanted to know the sex of the baby. We found out it was a girl... and the discussion of names began. I liked Shelby Jo... but Katie vetoed that one... something about a trailer park and people with no teeth living in a town called Shelby. Somehow we got from Chloe, the name of Katie's car... to the name Zoey... Zoey Jo!
She had a name, an identity and everyone knew their roles. Shelley would call and tell me things like, "your daughter is kicking like crazy".... or "your daughter kept me up all night." She was Aunt Shelley and I was Mom. Then of course, we had Custer Katie and Brosin Taylor... Grammie's the only role who didn't change. It was a family affair!
Zoey Jo was due on August 18th... we figured we would schedule a C-Section since Shelley had one with Taylor... that way I could be there and experience it with her.
On 4th of July weekend, I went to see Shelley and her belly with my baby. We had a great weekend and we ended my visit with an appointment to the doctors office for a sonogram. It was amazing... the Dr. said everything was right on scheduled and I'd see him again on August 10th.
One week later, my sister calls complaining about these "Braxton Hicks" contractions... apparently common but not the real thing. A few hours after that phone call... I get another one... my niece is on the line... "You have a very impatient daughter...you need to get on the next flight here... Mom's heading into the delivery room right now." I thought she was messing with me... or maybe it was denial... but I still had 5 weeks to mentally prepare... I wasn't ready for this yet.
Zoey was born at 1:17 am and everything went perfectly... Katie got to see the delivery which I envy so much... yet I'm thrilled she was there. By the time I arrived early the next morning, Zoey was 9 hours old. Wow... what an experience...and it's only just begun!
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