Surgery on Thursday...

I had an appointment with the chest surgeon at 1:30 today...ended up hanging out there for pre-op crap until after 5pm.
We decided to go ahead with the procedure...scheduled it for Thursday AM...(for details on the procedure see July 24th entry).
I can tell my lung is filling. I'm sore...winded...tired and cranky.



My apologizes to "Group Therapy"...








I'm meeting Lisa Hottle Mann in Columbia tomorrow to hand off my child. Zoey will spend some fun time with the Mann's in St. Louis...they're going on a canoe trip this weekend!





(Last years float trip pic)






I'll be in the hospital for about 3 or 4 days...skipping chemo...not getting my blood work done either.
I really don't want to know what my CA125 is right now...I like thinking it's at 496.
The more fluid in my body the higher that number may be and I really don't feel like bursting the last balloon I'm hanging by.

1019 to 496!

Can that be right? Is it working after all?
Did I actually hear some good news today?
Is God really listening?

Redo on Tuesday...just to make sure...then I can be excited.

Add a New Dr. to the List...

Today, I saw the Gyno Oncologist...(or should I say she saw me)...our normal 3 month look up the vajayjay. I told her not to look at my toe nails...I ran out of nail polish removal last night...(half my toes were a mess)...she replied while snapping a glove on her hand, "I'm not here to look at your toes."

Oh yeah...I'll be over here in the stirrups.............

Medical Bulletins:

* My lung has been tapped 5 times within the 2 sessions of chemo I've gone through since June.
* One of the first things chemo usually clears up is the excess of fluid.
* My CA125 has not gone down.
* This regiment of chemo may not be working.
* It's early to bale on it but if my new CA125 test doesn't drop a couple hundred points...we will (I'll know more tomorrow).

She will have to contemplate the next cocktail to order for me...I did request one where I could keep my hair..."I just got it colored and everybody's been complimenting me on it lately."

Immediately following...Mom and I took the elevator to the 6th floor...there we met with my Pulmonary Dr. We had a lovely chat about the fluid that keeps accumulating in my right lung.

He is recommending a surgical procedure to fix the leak...I say just throw some duct tape around the damn thing and call it a day.

Procedure as follows:

"Pleurodesis: A procedure that causes the membranes around the lung to stick together and prevents the buildup of fluid in the space between the membranes. This procedure is done in cases of severe recurrent pleural effusion (fluid around the lungs), as from cancer, to prevent the reaccumulation of fluid.

In pleurodesis, an irritant (such as Bleomycin, Tetracycline, or talc powder) is instilled inside the space between the pleura (the two layers of tissue lining the lungs) in order to create inflammation which tacks the two pleura together. This procedure thereby obliterates the space between the pleura and prevents the reaccumulation of fluid."

I guess it's worthy of a lovely few days stay in the beautiful privacy of my very own hospital suite...party at my place!

I'm being sent to a chest surgeon on Tuesday 7/29...2pm...I'll learn more then...although I did just receive this email from Lisa Hottle Mann...I usually call her first for all my medical advise............she's much older and wiser than I.


Jo-ha!
I researched pleurodesis and it sounds totally awesome! Ok, maybe not awesome, but tolerable…and effective! It sounds just like you said. They will probably use talc as the sclerosant (chemical irritant)—now I know why they say don’t use baby powder on baby’s butts anymore—it can cause pleurodesis! The studies I read said you stay in the hospital 2 to 4 days so the chest tube can completely drain the fluid before the procedure, then you leave it in a little while afterwards to drain the chemical out and make sure no other fluid accumulates (which means it worked). After effects seem very rare and minimal, although the chest tube might be uncomfortable, and the talc sometimes causes fever afterwards. Some people even do this as an outpatient. Not you, of course, because you like to do things the hard way, but that’s ok, we still love ya.

If you want, I can rig up Casey’s nebulizer with baby powder and we can do this thing ourselves. Doctors? We don’t need no stinking doctors.

Goodnight!
Love you…
LeeleepeepeeImeanleelee

Uneventful and Successful...

The weekend was a success...and by success...I mean no medical issues.

Saturday: the only issue I had was from the pre-chemo steroids...side effect: Ravishing Hunger! I craved crab legs for two days...go figure.

Zoey went to Jessica's sleepover birthday party Saturday night...so I called Davis to see if he was interested in helping me tackle my relentless craving...I just had to mention "Ray's Inn" and a quick "Yes" followed.

If you've never had crab legs at Ray's Inn...I highly recommend it! Awesome dinner...haven't eaten that much or that good in sometime now...my stomach handled it like a true champ!

Sunday: it's my 3rd day after chemo...usually not my best...only issue today was my constant need to close my eyes. I picked up Zoey from the sleepover...we hung out until another friend took her to lunch and a movie...which means...I napped. When she got home about 5pm...she fell asleep as a result of the late night sleepover...which means...I napped...again.
We got up about 8pm..........heading back to bed now to finish up this Sunday Sleep-A-Thon!

Drained and Better...

Want you all to know...I appreciate the thoughts and support...you all deserve to hear that I had a really good day today!

Zoey spent the day with Kathy K. Lunch...shopping...pedicures...her gift to the new 9 year old. Zoey's hit that stage...good-bye Bratz...hello clothes. I thought cancer was scary...my kids a pre-teen...now that's freakin' scary!

5th drain completed...breathing better...bounce in my step...smile on my face...no nap...heeded Laura Wickham's advise...took Zoey to see the movie "Wall-e" tonight...laughed out loud...great night with Zo...she likes it when I feel good...ME TOO!

"Hey tomorrow...where are you going...do you have some room for me...night is falling and the dawn is calling...I'll have a new day if she'll have me." ~ Jim Croce

Same Shit...Different "Chemo" Day!

I slept the back spasms away all day yesterday...felt better in that area this morning...not feeling great about going to chemo though. I can feel fluid in my lungs again...which probably means I'll have to have it drained tomorrow after chemo...this is seriously getting old...QUICKLY!

It has definitely taken a toll on me...physically and mentally...hit me hard today. It was the first time that I ever thought about punting this whole chemo crap...but I can't...I'm not a quiter.

I'm a fighter...I'm a mother...I'm a daughter...I'm a friend...I'm strong...I'm stubborn...and I'm Jo...what would people do without Jo around. My life's not the greatest right now...but I've got the greatest people in my life...so it's definitely worth the fight!

Just need to remind myself of these facts...anyway...today:

Chemo Day number.................I've lost count...lets say "kajillion"...sounds close enough to me.

Arrived at 10:30am...departed at 5:30pm...definitely the longest day of my chemo career. Lots of pre-tests & post-tests...failed most of them...therefore my detention begins tomorrow morning at 10:30am...the punishment will be a big fat needle through the back...between the ribs...into the lining of my right lung...where they will suck 1/2 to 1 liter of fluid out of my body....FOR THE 5th TIME!

I'll be able to breath again...which is a good thing...I guess...no, yes...it is a good thing. See...I'm working on my positivity...but it is VERY HARD...especially when FRUSTRATION OVERCOMETH!!!!!

Spazzin' Out...

Long night in hell...started with lower back spasms about 9pm. I called the oncologist on duty and it happened to be Dr. D...she recommended some pain killers, benedryl and a hot bath. The last couple days I've been given a shot to help boost my white blood cell count...it's known to cause pain in the bones...she wasn't aware of back spasm side effects...but if that's it the benedryl should help.

I only had 2 pain killers left...so I did as she instructed...I was better until about 1am. Everything gradually got worse...major back spasms all the way up to my neck and a headache that felt like vice grips clamped to my temples. By 3am...I was twitching like a fish out of water...I didn't have any more pain killers so I took Tylenol PM which has benedryl in it. No relief whatsoever. I couldn't take the pain any longer so I had to make the dreaded middle of the night call to Mom at 4am...I told her immediately not to panic...I explained what was going on and she came right over to take me to the hospital. Then I had to call Tracy and freak her out...but I needed her to come over and crawl in my bed since Zoey was home asleep.

Emergency room at St. Luke's...they assessed my issues...gave me Morphin and Valium...and relief soon entered my world. By 7:30am, I was heading back home with pain killer and valium prescriptions. We were home before Zoey was even awake.

I called Libby to let her know what was going on...she's not sure that it's an oncology issue...I have chemo tomorrow so we'll just see how the day goes. I finally got some sleep by 9:30am...until about 4:30pm. Still having slight spasms...the drugs are helping though.

Not sure what the cause is...seems to be something new going on every other day...I could really use a break!

Happy ?nd Birthday Mom & MiMi...We Love You!

Happy 9th Birthday...Zoey Jo!

Zoey's 9th birthday was celebrated at CoCo Key Resort at the Sheraton by the Truman Sports Complex...7 Loud Girls & Lucky Me... Jessica, Morgan, Zoey, Skylar, Jordan, Carly & Cara



Big fun had by all!



Thanks to my friends at work...our room was upgraded to a Suite...a Suite with Issues...(TV issues that is)! Clark & Christa Colwell helped me out big time all day. It was my day 3 after chemo which is usually my worst day...I trucked on but I couldn't have done it without my mom and friends there. Clark even talked to the manager and got us upgraded to the Presidential Suite! The girls thought they were Rock Stars!

When going to bed...I heard one of them comment, "Hannah Montana may have slept in this very bed."

Stick it to Me...Again

My chest x-ray from yesterday showed fluid in the lining of my right lung again...about the same amount as the time before...and the time before that...etc. I was admitted to the hospital by 1pm...took a little nap...then about 2:30 they took me to the ultra sound room. There they look for the best place to enter through my back. They numb the area then stick a long needle through my back...between my ribs...(sometimes hitting a rib on the way in which doesn't feel great)...once in they try to get to the fluid. 1st time was unsuccessful...I told her I thought the time before it took the Dr. 4 or 5 sticks before he got to the fluid and that it seemed he stuck me up higher on the back. She found the spot the 2nd time and retrieved about 1/2 a liter of fluid.

I was home by 4pm but unfortunately I had to miss Zoey's Hannah Montana production that was scheduled for 3pm. She has been at a Hannah Montana camp all week at Longview Community College...today was the last day and the big production. Last night, I informed her that I would have to miss it and she looked up at me with these big blue eyes that immediately started welling up with tears. She's worked so hard this week and I've got to miss the end results...this sucks!

She has been down this road with me before...as far as fluid in my lung and knowing how out of breath I get. I asked her if she would prefer I see the Hannah Montana show or get the procedure done so I can be in good shape for her big fun birthday celebration on Sunday...she agreed on the latter and wiped away the tears.

Mimi and Aunt Jo went and took my video camera so I'll get to watch it...just sucks having to disappoint my very soon to be 9 year old.

My Beautiful Sister...

Special shout out to my sister..."Hey Sis!" (Since no one else ever mentions you in their blogs).
I want you to know that I think you are an amazing sister and human being...a true blessing in my life and I love you to death!

Long Day in the Poison Chair...

I arrived for chemo at 10:30am...not breathing too bad...but not great. My oxygen level was borderline so it took them awhile to decide if I should have chemo today or not. During chemo, they pump me full of about 3 liters of fluid...seems like halfway through I start to struggle more and more with my breathing. I'm starting to think the port in my chest that the chemo pumps through is wired wrong...seems to be dripping directly into my right lung.

I told them I wanted the chemo treatment...we'll just have to tap my lung again tomorrow...my CA125 is too high to be pussy footing around just because I can't breath...whatever people! I just need to have a good weekend because it's Zoey's 9th birthday and we've got big plans.

Libby agreed with me...she got me scheduled for a fluid tap tomorrow afternoon...I left the poison chair at 4:30pm and had to go get a chest x-ray done before I left.

Long day...about to get much longer.

Zoey's softball team is in a tournament and her game starts at 6pm...my mom got her there in time because I wasn't sure if I'd make it out to Lee's Summit to warm up by 5:30. They haven't won a game in so long...but they did tonight 10 - 6! Unfortunately, my throbbing headache was gonna have to wait to visit its pillow...winners played again at 9pm. They got spanked pretty good 15 - 5...but they had fun and the season's over...it's all good!

***On a side note: Clark and Christa's daughter Cara had a game at 9pm as well...same place different field...they won! Clark brought snacks for the team...including Propel drinks. We didn't notice until after everyone had left that Propel is full of caffeine and provides a good bolt of energy for 10 year olds at 10:30pm! OOPS...sorry folks! Father of the year...Corky Colwell!!!!

Quick Update...

As of today...July 9, 2008

My CA125 is 1019...down from 1090 (3 weeks ago)...not thrilled with that number...need to be below 35...just seems like yesterday I was bitchin' about being in the 400's.

I've had my lung drained 3 times...feeling like I'm in need of another stick soon. Is it normal to be out of breath while going pee?

I've had 2 iron infusions...feeling better but still tired...sick and tired to be exact! Sick and tired of the whole damn thing:
...the chemo...the fatigue...the frustration...the bills...the not knowing...the wandering mind...the prayers...the lies...

I haven't been too thrilled with the way things have been going lately...it's been a rough ride...I'm in need of some smooth sailing but it's hard to flip the switch and think positive thoughts...pray...meditate...visualize.

I use to be good at that stuff...now it's a struggle and I need to reconnect...it's just not happening at this present moment. It will come back to me though...I am confident and positive about that...(I think).

I'll just be over here waiting for my epiphany.